I am just waking up from a crazy ass night with Skittles. Long story short, we were looking to "Shake Somethangs & Break Somethangs" but just got "Stunts & Shows"! Well one point in the night, we decided to check out the after game festivities downtown, even though if you read my last post know can be insane, and it was. The night was filled with such drunken hoeness (yes I did make that one up..jealous!) I have to break it down in a top ten:
#10 - GATORS!!!!(in a loud drunken scream) - I know you won, but not everyone person you meet wants your beer and ass funk breath burning the hairs in their ears and face in celebration.
#9 - Bottle Town - I know you maybe too drunk or busy to throw your beer bottle in the several hundred trash cans around, but do you have to throw them all on the sidewalk so a bitch get a cut on his Jimmy Choos.
#8 - Stop Means Go - Apparently when your too busy throwing bottles and yelling Go Gators, simple crossing signs and red lights are beneath you. Also beneath, some drunk hoe under your car.
#7 - Beer Makes the Hot Hotter - Even though it was like 50 degrees out, the power of liquor forced the hotties to show off that hot skin.
#6 - Friends become Bitches When their Missing - Hoe calm down, just because you don't see your friend that split second, doesn't mean you have to throw years of friendship away and cut that bitch.
#5 - Rick Ross maybe the boss, but his ass doesn't make me want pizza - Papa Johns, I know you trying to sell your cold pizza on the side of the road, but when you have a Rick look-a-like telling me and skittles that a pizza is just 10 bucks apiece or less with some "Hoes", its time to stop.
#4 - Cheating sucks, especially when I can't talk about it - Apparently it's not cool for your boyfriend to bring up that you was just fucking some other guy and everyone knows about it. Straight people.
#3 - How much for just the stick covered in sauce? - Liquor and high ass food go hand and mouth in The Ville during events, but damn 4.75 for a chicken nugget on a stick is just plain wrong.
#2 - I am a grown ass man and wear what I want - Me and Skittles have learned from the past that unless you go or support either school, don't wear any of their colors or you will face the drama. If you are downtown in red and black after losing the game, don't get mad if some drunken bitches start to try you and your Prada.
#1 - 10 dollars! What the hell!?, this ain't no club. It's barely a mall - Top of the fuckary, Skittles and I whole reasoning for being in the middle of all this hot mess was to go The Landing and get a ground zone view of the drunkenness. But when we walk our happy ass all the way down there (since we had to park a mile or two away) we see gates and security. I just thought that they were only admitting people 21 and over like they have done it the past for events like this. But them bitches were charging admission. 10 dollars to get in and pretty much get drunk to bootleg bands. I know those who have never been to The Ville or The Landing might think 10 bucks is nothing to party, but this ain't no club, it's just a shopping center with two clubs and only one worthwhile restaurant. Plus admission still didn't include paying for food and drinks or club admission. That's like Wal-Mart charging admission just because they have a sale on tube socks. As you may have guessed, Skittles and I didn't go in. We would rather get cramped up and thrown up on during a free night.
So Skittles and I had our own gutterbutt fun if you know what I mean and thank God for another Florida/Georgia Weekend come and gone and things get back to their normal controlled craziness.
Posted By: Peaches!
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