Two fine ass black men on a mission to up hold the ideals of fierceness and hotness from the streets of Jacksonville to the cities of the world. And if you are fierce you will be celebrated as you deserved, but beware if you look, act, smell, or sound like a hot mess, you will be ASSASSINATED!(Verbally, not fo realz!)

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Female White Chocolate: Music Edition!

Peaches had to call out all the white chocolate men that entertain their way into the hearts and pants of many and now its is my job to call out the women who do the same. These wanna be sistahs give it to you whenever they can and they definitely got some blackness to help them out or at least gotta have some blackness on the side. I introduce to you some of the female family starting with

Da Sister: Ashley Tisdale
Even though she comes off white for the most part (See her in HSM and The Suite Life) she has definitely got a black girl voice waiting to happen. Its not as strong as the others, but that is why she is the sister of the group

Da Niece: Kathrine McPhee
She comes straight from the American Idol Finalists group and hasn't stopped since. With her one album showing she has what it takes to be white chocolate (look at her album cover) best believe she will bring it in the future.

Da Aunt: Joss Stone
Oh my god! You will need to drink a "shut yo mouth" cocktail when you listen to this girl because she really sounds black. She might even be black but with that crazy purple and red hair, it's hard to tell!

Da GrandDaughter: JoJo
Hmmm! Just her name right off the bat screams BLACK and then the voice comes and it's over!
Any white girl that can sing SWV's WEAK and make it sound better than the original has to be in the white chocolate family!

Da Daughter: Christina Aguilera
How you gonna be half Spanish and half White and sound ALL BLACK!! They don't add up so we all know what must have really went down!!! I just hope her child can sing like her.

Da Mother: Amy Winehouse
Im starting to wonder what she would sound like without the crack and dirty lungs and diseases she's got cuz you know all of that has got to be the reason for it all. On top of that, she cuts her man, punches bitches trying to grab her hair, and talks about black men! Enough Said!!

Da GrandMother:Teena Marie
I had to save her for last because she is the all around white chocolate woman of all time. She has been paving the way for wannabes since 1979 and is still going strong! Bow down bitches cuz she don't play. The DIVA IS IN AND IS TAKING APPLICATIONS!!

So there you have it, and for those aspiring white chocolates out there trying to make it big, take a lesson for the best and go black but take caution because once you go black....well you know the rest!!!

Posted by Skittles